My Wish List

I have joined a crochet swapping group and I am so excited!!!

Here is my wish list


Wish list

Are you a knitter or crocheter?? Crocheter

I love to make..... everything

I really want to make...... baby stuff and cotton stuff

My favorite yarns are..... Cotton and thick n quick

My wish pattern is...... easy patterns that can be made up quickly!

My favorite hooks or needles are..... Light up and provo craft

I really wish I had..... some skeins of thick yarn

My favorite colors are... Yellow and Purple

My hobbies... Soap making, crocheting, loom knitting

My kitchen theme and colors.. hahaha what theme?

My bathroom theme and colors... Blue and Black

My dislikes.... Granny Squares

My crafts..what I like.... Same as my hobbies lol

My allergies... um just food allergies (strawberries, cherries and mushrooms)

My favorite pets... I have 3 dogs and 3 cats Boober (German Shepherd) Moakie (Chessy retriever) and Cujo (Shih tzu) cats are Sniper, Charlie and Jinx i love them all and there all my favorites

My favorite scents... Linen and cookie scent I also love vanilla

My favorite novels or magazines...Any romance novel that is set in the old old old days.. like Mid evil times

Other stuff about me... I am a Gestational and traditional surrogate, I have babies for infertile couples around the world. Its very rewarding and I plan to do it for as long as I can.

Swinging in the Cage

It has come to my attention lately that I am a monkey..

Yep.. a fucking monkey sitting in a house all the time... Not that I
didn't realize it before.. But its starting to make me insane...

I sit in my house ... a lot.. I go out very few times.. Honestly.. My
patterns of going outside into sunlight and actually going anywhere
would make you think of agoraphobia, but theres no fear here.. Just me
trapped like a monkey.

I sit.. I play with my daughter, I yell at the dogs... then I sit some
more... and do it all over again... a fucking Monkey could do this..

I literally go somewhere maybe every 8 days.. thats seems to be the
pattern.. and I should know.. this pattern has been going on for 4 years.

You wanna know the stellar place I go every 8 days? Cub Foods.. or a
hot 20 minutes in and out at Michaels for yarn.. yep thats is my WHOLE
life.

And the times I do go.. I am with my husband... so I am never alone..
unless I lock myself in the bathroom or bedroom.. But does that really
constitute being alone? When there is a toddler screaming for her
monkey to come out?

When I was little I used to go to this Zoo in Milwaukee WI .. they had
a Gorilla there.. named Sampson.. Hundreds of people flocked to see
him.. you could throw lit cigarettes at him and he would smoke them.
People went nuts for that shit. Sampson was cool.. He died knowing way
more people then I ever will.

You know what else I have in common with a Monkey? They don't drive..
I don't drive... in fact I can't even sit passenger on the highway..
without holding on to the door handle and praying my seat belt works.
So yeah I am a little nuts.. But it wasn't always that way.. I used to
do shit.. like umm I don't know anything? Like just saying wth.. i
think ill go to the mall.. or I should get my nails did.. I mean.. i
can do that if I want.. but I would have to bring my husband and my
daughter most likely.. cause I don't drive..

Sitting and thinking about this today.. I can only think of one
positive side of my life in cell number 3417 Terrace Lane... Thats,
that I will probably never get skin cancer. I actually started
laughing my ass off today when I opened a cabinet and saw some Super
active lotion with SPF or whatever that shit is.

Life is kinda weird.. has a way ripping off your arm and beating you
with your own bloody stump.

I would liken myself to the kids from Flower's in the attic... But
they were small and didn't grow.. white from lack of lite and nice and
skinny.. plus they got special cookies that they never got fat off of.
Granted it killed one of them..

Me? Nope.. I'm a confined monkey.. pacing between my bars.. getting
wider with every scratch of my armpit.

Now don't be startled thinking I am going to go all Yates on the kids
or anything.. there my confined littler monkey playmates.. like me..
but smaller ...would that make them Lemurs?.

Ever feel squashed inside your self..could be in a room full of
people.. and just sit there quietly with like a huge thought of
shocking everyone? Like Getting naked, painting yourself red, and
setting off dynamite at a church? .. no? must be just me then.

lol Did you really read that whole thing? Shit you must be bored.

Whoa! People read my blog! Hi How are ya!

So I figure I should probably give an update.. My Intended Parents decided to quit after our loss. So I am trying to decide witch new Intended Parents to work with.


I have NOT loomed ANYTHING recently except some awesome raccoon hats for my Boys. I didn't take pictures of them yet, But I will try.

Speaking of Boys.. Have I mentioned I have the coolest kids in school? Well I do and they are.

Evan and Ethan are the bees knees and I love them oh so much.

And there handsome too!



And who can forget the Princess Miss Sassy Bossy Izzy Bee


I will update again soon I promise!!! Oh btw I taught myself how to crochet.. I think lol

Answers finally

well on the 12th my beta was 2430 and today it was 14.. so we now know I have had a miscarriage. Finally after a month we get answers. I am glad its over, but sad at the result.

Bad news.. I think?

Well it took a very long time for me to post this news. Because I am so unsure of whats going on.

My levels have been going up very slowly (HCG) I am pregnant... but no one knows if Its viable.

I had an ultrasound on my birthday that showed a sac that measured small. Then I went home to take a birthday nap and woke up covered in blood. SO I went to the ER, and was diagnosed a "threated Miscarriage" not a complete miscarriage because my cervix is closed and my levels where over 2430... so I was put on bedrest and now I am waiting for my next Ultrasound to see if the baby is gone or is still ok.. No one knows and everyone is too scared to breathe let alone hope.

WOOHOO for baby making!

I tested today and got a BFP (big fat positive) althought it was neither big nor fat... it was the thinnest little line there could be! But its all mine! YAY! we did it! I am having a baby for T and K!
or babies? who knows.. Ill take what I can get.. so will they I am sure!

News on the surrogacy front

Well after being poked and proded and dosed to the gills with hormones of all sorts. I went in this morning (11/12) for a baseline ultrasound, this checks the thickening of my uterus and lining to see if I am ready to transfer.

Now they look for a number above 7 (7 is concidered a medium thick wall) well my number was more then 7.. it was 12.95.. thats very thick... before she told me my number the nurse said "oh your so getting pregnant" Made me very very happy and made my Ips tickled pink.

So in 6 short hours I am leaving for Ohio... I will be there for 7 days and we are not sure of the exact day, because really thats all up to the embryos and how they hold up. but we know it has to be either this coming weekend or on Monday.. I will have invitro that will change my life for 9 short months and change my Ips lives for the rest of there days.


I could just wett myself I am so excited!!!

take care and think fertile thoughts for me and my Ips!